So today I was productive, which is new for me on a first day. Usually I curl up with my computer or a video game, listen to kids who are trying really hard to convince me to sell them for very small sums of money, or you know, pocket lint, and generally wallow and hate everything. I do this regardless of if he's gone a few days, a few weeks, or a few months. I don't know why.
Today was different, today I woke up did my normal, everyday morning routine. THEN I started weight watchers tracking again. I then shut down my computer and totally rearranged my living room. This is not totally out there, I move my furniture around every 2 or 3 months. I suffer from wonderlust and moving the furniture not only gives me a chance to deep clean and find missing things but it also mutes that desire to pack up and move somewhere for no reason other then new surroundings.
J's computer is unhooked and ready to be put in the closet safe from baby fingers. Speaking of baby fingers, the girls were remarkably good today. They broke my heart by chanting "Daddy all gone" all day but they were well behaved. Slept in, Lyra napped most of the afternoon and still went to bed on time.
Tomorrow my goals are to get a work out in, clean the kitchen, and fold the clean laundry.
Tuesday, August 31, 2010
Sunday, August 29, 2010
Friday, August 27, 2010
Thursday, August 26, 2010
Today my oldest turns 3. It's insane, that it was only 3 years ago, and at the same time insane that she's already 3.
Three years ago I was sent home from the hospital two times before being admitted the third time. I labored, in back labor for 37 hours before being admitted, I experienced a few hours of medicated relief with a walking epidural and then for the last 1.5 hours (push time included) I made due without it (by choice).
You know, with my very first birth experience I came out feeling like a super hero. I labored, unmedicated for 37 hours, with back labor. I can honestly say that it wasn't that bad. That, had I know other mothers to have terrible wrenching pain with back labor, even with an epidural. The same can be said of Mom's who have "properly" positioned babies. My friend at Tales of an Unlikely Mother says it best when she says Your Mileage May Very.
To a lot of other Moms, most of those who've had all natural births, scoff at me and my pride at 45 hours. When I say my pain wasn't so bad, that pushing wasn't so bad. I'm met with "but you had an epidural." It makes me wonder what part of the 5ish hours I had a walking epidural negates the other 40 hours? What part of 37 hours before being medicated, with back labor, is not painful and pride worthy because once admitted I accepted the epidural I'd planned on anyway?
Could I have done without it. Well that's up for debate, had the timing been less I would say definitely. But at 37 hours, I was exhausted, without the epidural I would have had no sleep for 2 days and at that point I didn't have the energy to roll over let alone push a baby out. I firmly believe that if I hadn't gotten that epidural and some sleep along with it that my labor would have stretched out even more.
So what I'm saying is, don't judge and Happy Birthday Baby.
Three years ago I was sent home from the hospital two times before being admitted the third time. I labored, in back labor for 37 hours before being admitted, I experienced a few hours of medicated relief with a walking epidural and then for the last 1.5 hours (push time included) I made due without it (by choice).
You know, with my very first birth experience I came out feeling like a super hero. I labored, unmedicated for 37 hours, with back labor. I can honestly say that it wasn't that bad. That, had I know other mothers to have terrible wrenching pain with back labor, even with an epidural. The same can be said of Mom's who have "properly" positioned babies. My friend at Tales of an Unlikely Mother says it best when she says Your Mileage May Very.
To a lot of other Moms, most of those who've had all natural births, scoff at me and my pride at 45 hours. When I say my pain wasn't so bad, that pushing wasn't so bad. I'm met with "but you had an epidural." It makes me wonder what part of the 5ish hours I had a walking epidural negates the other 40 hours? What part of 37 hours before being medicated, with back labor, is not painful and pride worthy because once admitted I accepted the epidural I'd planned on anyway?
Could I have done without it. Well that's up for debate, had the timing been less I would say definitely. But at 37 hours, I was exhausted, without the epidural I would have had no sleep for 2 days and at that point I didn't have the energy to roll over let alone push a baby out. I firmly believe that if I hadn't gotten that epidural and some sleep along with it that my labor would have stretched out even more.
So what I'm saying is, don't judge and Happy Birthday Baby.
Wednesday, August 25, 2010
Lets get Serious for a minute
Today had been rough, we're so close to J deploying, I'm sick, it's been shitty outside. I went to bed last night with big plans to finish getting the house in order and after 6 attempts all resulting dizzy, sick, vertigo I gave up.
We're all way off schedule. Eating late, sleeping weird. Everyone is cranky. Sometimes I forget how much an hour or two can make when it comes to a kids routine. And lately food is the last thing on my mind. Tonight we were in full meltdown mode. The kids were being flat out bad, J and I both feel sick and all 4 of us were tantruming. Finally I made supper and it amazes me that they ate and are now quietly playing on their own and soon Lyra will be in bed.
Part of us (the collective J and I) want to talk about his leaving, but mostly we avoid it. It's hard, we'll make a few jokes about stuff and then there's that one too many, it's not the joke itself just that invisible line that's always changing on the topic of away. It's hard when the kids don't want to cuddle or be affectionate. It hard to explain to 1.5 and 3 years olds that you need to hug Daddy now because this time next week you won't be able to.
11 months seems like a lifetime and I spend a lot of time wondering what I'm going to do with myself and my children. In reality even though his HLTA is not well broken up the time will likely not be as bad as I think. In fact our first period will barely be over a month, then I'll spend a few months with my family in NS, and we'll be back in time for his second HLTA. The longest period will be the 5 months after that. Plus I have tons of yarn and games to keep me busy when the kids are sleeping and hopefully I can make a little money this season. If I can sell 30 hats I will break even.
But mostly we try not to think about it.
We're all way off schedule. Eating late, sleeping weird. Everyone is cranky. Sometimes I forget how much an hour or two can make when it comes to a kids routine. And lately food is the last thing on my mind. Tonight we were in full meltdown mode. The kids were being flat out bad, J and I both feel sick and all 4 of us were tantruming. Finally I made supper and it amazes me that they ate and are now quietly playing on their own and soon Lyra will be in bed.
Part of us (the collective J and I) want to talk about his leaving, but mostly we avoid it. It's hard, we'll make a few jokes about stuff and then there's that one too many, it's not the joke itself just that invisible line that's always changing on the topic of away. It's hard when the kids don't want to cuddle or be affectionate. It hard to explain to 1.5 and 3 years olds that you need to hug Daddy now because this time next week you won't be able to.
11 months seems like a lifetime and I spend a lot of time wondering what I'm going to do with myself and my children. In reality even though his HLTA is not well broken up the time will likely not be as bad as I think. In fact our first period will barely be over a month, then I'll spend a few months with my family in NS, and we'll be back in time for his second HLTA. The longest period will be the 5 months after that. Plus I have tons of yarn and games to keep me busy when the kids are sleeping and hopefully I can make a little money this season. If I can sell 30 hats I will break even.
But mostly we try not to think about it.
Bad Mommy....
Okay so, last week my in-laws were here. They rented a cottage and the kids spent most of the week with them while J and I only spent 3days/2nights there. The day we went back to stay I remembered the cottage had a VCR, and it was rainy and gross out so I dug to the deep, dark, dust corner's of the closet and pulled out the giant bag of Disney VHS movies I own. Pulled out a few and packed them with us. One of those was Toy Story 2. Toy Story being their most favorite movie ever but we have it on DVD.
We don't have a VCR or a DVD player. We have 2 consoles that play DVDs and one also plays BluRay so we make do. However my husband, alive with old school VHS declares that we need one. NEED it. Which I guess makes sense we have a whole lot of packed up VHS we would watch if we had the player. Of course who sells lone VCRs? NO ONE that's who. So I bought a DVD combo.
This morning I check tracking on it (because I buy everything online) and declare; TOMORROW YOU CAN WATCH TOY STORY TWO. The children respond YAAAAAAAAAAAAAY.... opps, i guess they think they're invited.
We don't have a VCR or a DVD player. We have 2 consoles that play DVDs and one also plays BluRay so we make do. However my husband, alive with old school VHS declares that we need one. NEED it. Which I guess makes sense we have a whole lot of packed up VHS we would watch if we had the player. Of course who sells lone VCRs? NO ONE that's who. So I bought a DVD combo.
This morning I check tracking on it (because I buy everything online) and declare; TOMORROW YOU CAN WATCH TOY STORY TWO. The children respond YAAAAAAAAAAAAAY.... opps, i guess they think they're invited.
Sunday, August 15, 2010
Thursday, August 12, 2010
This one time I did something....
And I totally failed at updating this blog. Sometimes I just can't think of anything to talk about, maybe tonight I'll make a list, maybe it will be stories to tell, maybe it will just be random words and I'll go to post and have no idea what I meant when I wrote "fishy salad flowers."
Friday, August 6, 2010
I suck so hard at Daily updating.
I am so done with Bell, yesterday we looked for a new provider but after talking to them we realized there is just no way to do this before Jason leaves without it turning into a cluster fuck. Bell will take a month to shut everything off, which means I would be finalizing all of it, which means they would throw out the "you're not the account holder" card because they've done that EVERY time I've tried to do anything to the account. Plus the reviews on SwitchWorks are so up and down, hopefully Cable internet is run through by the time he gets back, though the way Bells DSL is we'd probably have better luck with Satellite anyway.
Anyone reading my Blog who is thinking about a provider for anything in Canada, do not choose Bell, I've had one of there telemarketers harassing me for the last year, and I mean actually harassing me, not just telemarketing and Bell doesn't do a fucking thing about it, they don't even care. I can't wait until we can transfer somewhere that has options other then Bell.
I am so done with Bell, yesterday we looked for a new provider but after talking to them we realized there is just no way to do this before Jason leaves without it turning into a cluster fuck. Bell will take a month to shut everything off, which means I would be finalizing all of it, which means they would throw out the "you're not the account holder" card because they've done that EVERY time I've tried to do anything to the account. Plus the reviews on SwitchWorks are so up and down, hopefully Cable internet is run through by the time he gets back, though the way Bells DSL is we'd probably have better luck with Satellite anyway.
Anyone reading my Blog who is thinking about a provider for anything in Canada, do not choose Bell, I've had one of there telemarketers harassing me for the last year, and I mean actually harassing me, not just telemarketing and Bell doesn't do a fucking thing about it, they don't even care. I can't wait until we can transfer somewhere that has options other then Bell.
Monday, August 2, 2010
Sunday, August 1, 2010
I am seriously failing at this whole blogging thing. Today life is thwarting my plans to CLEAN ALL THE THINGS... I went to bed at a human time last night and I decided I would get up make coffee, and do the dishes while washing laundry, I would be awesome. But then when i got up this morning the coffee maker died. I mean it's still in the kitchen on life support, we've got coffee and water in it, she's TRYING, just nothing is coming out. The Canex doesn't open until noon, so I'm drinking a coke in hopes it'll keep me going until then.
I think the kids understand that without the coffee their very lives hang in the balance, they've been remarkable good for this early in the morning. J is still sleeping I keep running upstairs and yelling "CURSES" but he doesn't seem to see my urgency, probably because he's sleeping.
I think the kids understand that without the coffee their very lives hang in the balance, they've been remarkable good for this early in the morning. J is still sleeping I keep running upstairs and yelling "CURSES" but he doesn't seem to see my urgency, probably because he's sleeping.
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