So this is what's going to happen. The end of August my husband is going away for 10 to 11 months, with two, two week vacation periods. Yes he is in the military. The main point of this blog is to keep myself sane. I mean regardless of logic if I don't hear from him everyday my brain is going to make up some excuses and they are going to drive me insane. Alternately I do not drive, in the winter I spend a lot of time stuck at home. I have two kids under age 4 and yeah I walk to the grocery store. See you're already questioning my sanity.
I'm going to start blogging about my day, everyday. This is my way of easing myself into writing again. Hopefully I'll get used to this, and hopefully those of you who stumble on this will be entertained.Friday night they had a beer call, and since teenagers apparently do not babysit anymore, my cousin was working and all our other baby sitting options were going to the beer call we didn't have a baby sitter. Oh well, such is life, I put my youngest to bed shortly after he left (on foot, safety first, don't drink and drive, etc.). Then I tossed the 1984 Carebears movie in the PS3 and then crocheted myself into 8pm when I could put the oldest child to bed.
HIZZAH THE HOUSE IS MINE. I rejoiced by crocheting while drinking alone. Well technically I sat in a chat room with some Mom friends some of which were also drinking, and it was ONLY ONE Sir Perry and I didn't finish it... SHUT UP. Cough. Because I am an incredibly exciting individual I went to bed at 10:30 read for 30mins and as I turned out the light and set my kindle down I heard it.
My youngest is teething, which gives her a horrible rash. Let me tell you, which ever magic sky person decided that growing teeth should effect parts of the body OUTSIDE OF THE MOUTH should be taken out back and shot. I'm just saying. So I change her diaper and she snuggles into my bed, okay whatever baby in bed. Around 2am my oldest also climbs in bed with us. This signels her sister that happy fun awake time has started.
Minitron pokes me in the eye "mama, Daddy all gone!" Yes you're Daddy isn't here okay go to sleep. Poke, poke, "Mama! Mama! Up Mama, hi Mama, MAMA" I pull the blankets over my head. Suddenly I hear, slap, slap ,slap. I peak from my blanket sheild and see Minitron on her big sister slaping away "HEY, HI, HEY, HEY, HI, HI, HEY, HEY, HI, NO DADDY, HI, DADDY ALL GONE."
At this point I realize my three year old is going to sleep in my bed until at least 7am, possibly 8:30 if I'm really lucky, however Minitron will be awake from here on out unless I put her back in her room. So I scoop her up and put her in bed. She protests but in the end she's asleep before I'm back in my blanket fortress of solitude.
We wake up at 8am, Minitron still snoring away in her own room. Captain Obvious points out that Daddy is not in bed and asks me where he is. Having not heard the door I assume he slept next door or died, and chose the least traumitizing one to explain to the daughter. "Daddy stayed at a friends house last night and is probably not dead." She proclaims "DADDY WALK YAY," and runs down the stairs where her father is asleep, half on the couch a full McDonalds McChicken Combo meal sitting next to his hand. My 3 year old proclaims "DADDY DIE! YAAAAAAAAAAY" and then jumps on him. It is fabulous. I make coffee. They eat cold McDees for breakfast.
At some point I tried to clean, I managed to half sort some dishes but not actually wash them. and then I decided to do laundry and attempt to figure out why everything coming out of my washer smells like feet. Which seems to be resolved now. During this I was furiously picking up laundry from my bedroom floor and putting it in the empty hamper. Neither of us use the hamper and I am almost certain that at least 40% of that laundry was clean when it landed on the floor.
I start to explain to my husband how hard it is to do laundry during the day but how when he gets home from work I can't be arsed to do shit. I start explaining an elaborate plan that was either world domination through laundry folding robots or having him fold laundry once or twice a week for the month he's off. He stops me mid maniacaly cackle to explain that he doesn't care if it's folded... this is amazing, not folding laundry, just putting it in drawers WHY DID I NOT REALIZE I COULD DO THIS. It's not like it stays folded by the end of the first day of looking for clothing anyway right?
So now I can do laundry and not freak out about folding it right? However I have learned that just because she has clean pants does not mean my 3 year old will wear them.
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